I'm a Photographer?

I recently started my own photography business. I just sort of fell into it. A few months ago a local mom (now a friend) posted in a mom's group looking for someone to take some family photos for her. She, like so many other moms (myself included) rarely get in front of the camera for one reason or another. She was looking for someone inexpensive, basically someone who has a DSLR camera and editing capabilities. I responded telling her that I have both and that I would take her family photos for free seeing as though I don't have any experience do photo shoots. I loved it and she loved the photos (looking back I can't wait to shoot their family again seeing how my technique has improved greatly since then). I wanted to do more shoots. I also realized that I did not want people on Facebook stealing my images without getting credit for the work. I posted in a secret Facebook group I used to belong to asking for help in creating a name for my photography page. In the beginning that is all I wanted to do. Have a Facebook page to put my images on and maybe do a few photo shoots here and there. A different friend suggested making the name out of something  meaningful and personal. I knew I didn't just want it to be my own name as the business name. Every night as I lay my son down to sleep I tell him that I love him to the "edge of the universe and back" and that the universe keeps expanding and so does my love. Corny I know, but the name "Edge of the Universe Photography" stuck. I had a few shoots lined up and with each one my drive for photography increased. The idea I had in my head for what I want my business to become kept evolving but
an ever present question in my mind is am I really a photographer?

I have no formal photography training. Everything I have learned I have taught myself by reading and experimenting with different types of shots and settings or by talking with other photographers and learning from them. I have no business training. Again, I am learning as I go. I am trying not to invest too much in my business as of right now. I know you have to spend money to make money and I plan on making an investment in upgrading my equipment to a professional grade body and lens, but right now I am a little afraid to make the leap. I know it is a necessary one if I want to drastically improve the quality of my work and be able to charge more. I am still trying to figure out what a successful business in my eyes would be. Could I actually make a living off of my work? What is success to me? People spend years training in photography. Can this hobby of mine become a career? And what happens to the degree I spent 5 years working for?

I have a degree in chemistry education. A far cry from photography. I spent my childhood being groomed to become a teacher like my parents. I never wanted to disappoint them and I loved science so I went into college with the aspirations of becoming a teacher. I never really considered any other field. I think due in part from not wanting to go against what my parents wanted for me. I know that is hard for some people to fathom, but it you had met my parents while they were still alive, you would understand. After I lost them, I kind of lost myself. I didn't really know what I wanted for my life in terms of a career path. Teaching gave me the flexibility I needed because of my husband's job. But it was a challenge for me. I loved teaching and part of me misses it, but I was not good at the politics of it. I always said I would go back to teaching when my son entered school since my husband and I agreed that I would stay home until then . This is another thing I know my mom would have some issues with as I grew up hearing her opinions on SAHMs. I think a part of her wishes she could have stayed home, but in order to provide the life she envisioned for her family she worked.  I think this is a big reason why I feel the need to justify to others when they ask what I do. As if raising a child isn't good enough. Logically I know that no one really cares why it is I stay home with my child instead of working. Yet I feel the  need to state that I was a chemistry teacher before having him. Why? Why do I feel guilty for choosing to be a SAHM and/or a WAHM? I think it is partly due to the fact that my mother's generation fought so hard to not have to stay at home. They fought so many battles to give me and my peers the opportunity to "have it all".

Photography is the first thing in a really long time that I have been passionate about and actually have some raw natural talent for. It is something I can see myself doing for the long term. Hopefully creating a studio in a part of my house for when photo shoots  need to be done inside for one reason or another. A few months ago when I started I didn't know if I wanted to turn this into a career. It was just a hobby that I can make some money with. But as I invest more of myself into every photo I take I discover that I really love it. It makes me so happy to be able to document memories for families to look back on. But how do I silence the doubt in my mind? How do I quiet the voice in my head that tells me I am a chemistry teacher? I do it one photograph at a time. Because I AM a photographer.